Again, it's been a while.  I've gotten somewhat discouraged the past few days and didn't really want to share with you all so much.  But, discouragement is another aspect of this life we are living.  It seems that everytime I start to see some progress in our schedule that might provide me with some respite, it's one step forward and two steps back.

I was so excited about C, the potential companion for K.  She was scheduled to come for the first time on the 12th - when I spoke with her on the evening of the 11th,  I asked her to bring the referrals she had offered the first time we spoke.  I didn't hear from her again until Wed. night.  She dropped off the referrals yesterday - but I have some definite concerns now.  One of the letters is unsigned, on plain paper from the Director of Social Work at Huron Woods Assisted Living.  After  I verified the phone number actually was Huron Woods, I called and got voice mail that gave the right name.  I left a message and I so hope he calls me back.  The other paper she brought was the second page of a letter she had obviously written to the family of a patient who had passed away, telling stories of times she had shared with the patient.  Nice, but not a referral.  I don't know.

I've also been discouraged by the Namenda trial.  K now sleeps longer and longer, but when he gets up he is HYPERactive.  VERY HYPER.  Talks literally without stopping - hardly to breathe.  Goes on walks dozens of times a day.  Counts tires on cars going by - out loud.  Nothing at all holds his attention for more than 30 seconds at a time.  I had a hyper child once (Love you!), and I didn't do well with the situation.  I'm not doing well this time either.  I feel like the kinetic energy he exudes sucks my energy into a vortex.  My nerves are shot, my head is hurting and I am trying to be patient.  It certainly isn't his fault - damn disease.  I told him he was driving me crazy and he said - "That ship has already sailed!"   Oh boy, he's got that right.  I need a pill!  He needs a pill!  I have a call into his neurologist to let her know the Namenda seems to be a problem.  But, I haven't heard back yet.  And of course, his 3 month supply of the stuff came in the mail yesterday!  Gee Whiz!  (and I'm starting to sound like Beaver Cleaver!)  What a mess.

Yesterday was K's first day of golf for the season.  I'm not quite sure what happened, but he only played 9 holes and then called me to come get him.  The rest of the guys went on to play the back nine.  I can't get the story straight - each time he talks about it I get a different version.  I can't tell if it was his idea to leave early or if someone might have encouraged him to leave early.  He seemed unsettled by the situation, but wasn't able to vocalize what had him unsettled.  I didn't belabor the story - no point in making a situation bigger than it might be.  If there was a problem of any kind, hopefully one of his friends will let me  know.  He may have just lost interest or gotten tired.   BTW, the golf course was on the Redford/Detroit city line.  It looked nice enough and K said it was nice, but it was a little disconcerting when I realized that the "fireworks" I was hearing was actually gunfire from the shooting range across the street - hundreds of shots!  Evidently the police academy training range was there.  I wasn't sure if that made it safer (lots of potential officers nearby) or more dangerous (lots of inexperienced shooters nearby).  But everyone seemed to be whole and not leaking anywhere!

We are thinking about driving down to Nashville next week and checking out our old stomping grounds.  K wants to go to Gulf Shores, but that is just too far for me to drive, especially with the nonstop sound track.  Hopefully the compromise will satisfy him.  Yesterday after golf he said he wasn't going to take his clubs, but today he is saying again he wants to play the Robert Trent Jones trail course in Birmingham.  Again, he says that playing Carnton in Franklin will be fine sometimes, and other times he insists we're going to Birmingham.  I know he wants to relive good memories of playing with B in Alabama, but the reality doesn't live up to his daydreams.  He does get frustrated when he can't do what he thinks he can.  God love him, I can't imagine what that realization must be like for him.  Thank God, it only comes in glimpses for him and isn't a constant in his life.

Sorry for the whining - I may indeed need a little cheese with that wine.  Tomorrow will be better....or at least different.

Love and Peace to all, Mary